Second Sunday of Easter (Bright Sunday)                                              St. Paul, 04/15/07

(Series C, RCL)

Pastor Hal Nilsson

A couple had been married for more than 60 years.  They had shared everything.  They had talked about everything.  They had kept no secrets from each other...except that the wife had a shoe box in the top of her closet.  She had warned her husband never to open it or to ask her about it.  For all of these years, he had never thought about the box.  But then his wife became very seriously ill, and her doctor told them that it was unlikely she would recover. 

As they prepared for the end of her life, the husband took down the shoe box and brought it to his wife's bedside.  She agreed it was time that he should know what was in the box.

When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.  He asked her about the contents.  "When we were about to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me that the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue.  She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."

The husband was deeply moved.  He had to fight back his tears.  Only two precious dolls were in the box.  She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving.  He almost burst with happiness.

"Honey," he said, "that explains the doll, but what about all of this money?  Where did it come from?"

"Oh," she said, "That's the money I made from selling the dolls."

Welcome to Bright Sunday, an alternative way to celebrate the second Sunday of Easter.  The tradition of telling jokes and light hearted stories and even playing pranks on this day goes back centuries in some places in Europe.  Increasingly it is being observed even by solemn Lutherans, as we have done a few times in recent years.  The day also has been called Holy Hilarity Sunday, or in Latin, the Risus Paschalis, the Easter laugh.  A tradition among Eastern Orthodox Christians says that Lazarus laughed for years after Jesus raised him from the dead.  That’s why Lazarus’ home in Bethany just over the ridge from Jerusalem is called “The House of Laughter.” 

The custom of Bright Sunday is said to go back to St. John Chrysostom, the great 5^th century preacher and bishop of Constantinople.  It was he who called Easter a cosmic joke that God played on Satan.  Draw this picture in your mind:  When Jesus was killed on the cross, the devil thought it had won.  Goodness was defeated.  But the devil had only a few hours to laugh.  On Easter morning God shamed and defeated Satan and the forces of evil forever.  God pulled off the greatest practical joke ever.  God had the last laugh.  And so do we, the graced children of God.  Although we still contend every day with the forces of evil, because Jesus lives we can and ought to travel the journey of faith with a smile on our faces.  I appreciate that some of you have been sending me stories for this day.  Like this one. 

 A pastor was wrapping up a sermon on temperance.  With great emphasis he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."  Raising his voice, he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."  And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."



Sermon complete, he sat down.  The music director stood up and announced, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365, "Shall We Gather at the River."

Some of us have reached the stage where we pay special attention to grandchildren stories. 

A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl.  "You just change "y" to "i" and add "es.'"

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one.  The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was.  Jennifer raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shalt not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife."

A little boy asked his grandmother how old she was.  She teased him, “I’m not sure.”  "Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised.  "Mine says I'm four to six."

A preschool teacher was taking a van full of children on a field trip when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No, said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use dogs", she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

On the first day of school, about mid-morning, the kindergarten teacher said, “If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers.”  A little voice from the back of the room asked, “How will that help?”

This is for those of you who haven’t finished your tax return.  The tax advisor had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach.  Suddenly she piped up, "Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a long-term capital gain?"

You’ve heard that if you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.  Or that middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.  If you must choose between two evils, chose the one that you've never tried before.

A neighbor asked Joseph of Arimathea why he gave his beautiful hand-hewn tomb to someone else.  Joseph replied, “Well, he only needed it for the weekend.”  It is that kind of light-heartedness and hope that Easter gives us.  Somehow Thomas was unable to discern that joy and hope when his friends told him that they had seen Jesus alive.  Perhaps Thomas was so devastated by what had happened that he was mired in depression.  Crushing blows will do that, as many of you in this room can attest.  A week later, a patient and caring Jesus broke through Thomas’ doubt and despair.  I cannot help but believe that there was a good bit of laughter behind the closed doors that day when Thomas saw Jesus and knew that life would never be the same.  That’s implicit in the biblical text.

We need to pay close attention to that text.  Like when the cake decorator was asked to inscribe 1 John 4:18 on a wedding cake.  That verse reads “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.”  Unfortunately he misread the verse, and when the cake arrived at the wedding reception it was discovered that not 1 John 4:18, but John 4:18 was inscribed: “For you have five husbands and the one you have now is not your husband.”

Speaking of Bible verses, a mother was cleaning her teenage daughter’s room when she saw a post-it note on her bulletin that said Job 7:11.  The mother looked up the verse and read, “Therefore I will not restrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul.”  Although she had not detected anything amiss, the mother wondered if this was a serious cry for help.  She asked their pastor to come over to meet with the family, which she did.  The pastor prayed with them for reassurance, for trust and courage for the young woman, and most of all for a sense of hope for her.  As they said “Amen,” she asked what that was all about.  They showed her the note and expressed their concern.  “Oh that,” she said, “that was there to remind me that there’s a job opening at 7/11.”

Toward the end of his life, when he was suffering from the accumulated effects of a lifetime of drinking, a very ill W. C. Fields was discovered by one of his friends reading the Bible.  Flabbergasted, his friend asked, “What are you, an atheist, doing reading the Bible?  Fields replied, “I’m looking for loopholes,… looking for loopholes.”

When I retired a few years ago from St. Luke Church, they held a very nice retirement party for me.  So I appreciated this story that one of you gave me.  A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.



"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place.  The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer.  He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his place of business, had an affair with his boss's wife, and used illegal drugs.  I was appalled.



But as the days went on, I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people."



Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late.  He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk



"I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession."

Words that come back to haunt us.  A husband looking through the paper came upon a study that said women use more words than men.  Excited to prove to his wife his long-held contention that women in general, and his wife in particular, talked too much, he showed her the study results, which stated: "Men use about 15,000 words per day, but women use 30,000."  His wife thought awhile, then finally she said to her husband, "That's because we have to repeat everything we say."  The husband said, "What?"

We have come a long ways in the ecumenical movement, but there are still some inter-Christian issues to work on. 

Bubba was a hard shell Baptist from Alabama.  He also loved to sneak away to the racetrack. One day he was there betting on the ponies and losing his shirt when he noticed a priest step out onto the track and bless the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the fourth race.  Lo and behold, the horse—a very long shot—won the race.

Bubba was most interested to see what the priest did the next race.  Sure enough, he watched the priest step out onto the track and place a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses.  Bubba made a beeline for the window and placed a small bet on the horse.  Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race.

Bubba collected his winning and anxiously waited to see on which horse the priest bestowed his blessing for the sixth race.  The priest showed and blessed a horse, Bubba bet on it, and it won!  Bubba was elated!

As the day went on, the priest continued blessing one of the horses in each race, and the chosen animal always came in first.  Bubba began to pull in some serious money, and by the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true.  He made a quick stop at the ATM, withdrew big money and awaited the priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.

True to his pattern, the priest stepped out onto the track before the last race and blessed the forehead, eyes, ears and hooves of one of the horses.  Bubba bet every cent, and watched the horse come in dead last.  He was dumbfounded.  He made his way to the track and when he found the priest, he demanded, "What happened, Father?  All day you blessed horses and they won.  The last race, you blessed a horse and he lost.  Now I've lost my savings, thanks to you!"

The priest nodded wisely and said, "That's the problem with you Protestants.  You can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and the Last Rites!"

We are Lutherans, so it wouldn’t be a Bright Sunday without one Sven and Ole story.  Sven and Ole were working for the city of Minneapolis. Sven would dig a hole—he would dig, dig, dig.  Ole would come along and fill the hole—fill, fill, fill.  Sven and Ole worked furiously, one digging a hole, the other filling it up again.

A man was watching from the sidewalk and couldn't believe how hard these men were working, but couldn't understand what they were doing. Finally he had to ask them.  He said to Sven the hole digger, "I appreciate how hard you work, but what are you doing? You dig a hole and your partner comes along behind you and fills it up again!"  Sven, hole digger replied, "Yeah, I suppose it does look funny, but Lars, the guy who plants the trees is sick today."

 Two men were leaving church on a bright Sunday morning. "You know," said the first friend, "I can always tell who the golfers are in church." "How's that?" asked the other.  "It's easy," he said. "Just look at who is praying with an interlocking grip."

What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman?  When a golfer lies he doesn't have to bring anything home to prove it!

Let’s let children have the last word.  Here are some great truths little children have discovered: 

Ø      No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

Ø      When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

Ø      If your brother hits you, don't hit him back. They always catch the second person.

Ø      Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

Ø      You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

Ø      Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

Ø      Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

Ø      You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

Ø      Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

Ø      The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

The great truth we’re celebrating today is that Christ is risen.  Because he lives, we know that light is stronger than darkness, that forgiveness is stronger than guilt, that God is stronger than death, and that our destiny as children of God is life in all its fullness and joy.  Our call is to live in that joy today, and every day, for the rest of our lives.